I received the following message from a wife and reader of this blog.
“I purchased some new sex toys and the free item the company sent, was a penis extension,
that can be used over a vibrator or a mans penis, to make it thicker. I put it on my new vibrator and loved it! I have found with the added girth, I am having mind blowing orgasms. Now the downside. I mentioned this to my husband and he thought it was great. So I suggested we put it on his penis and try that also. He went from excited, to having a bruised ego. To make matters worse, his penis is too small to keep the extension on him. I have told him his penis is perfect and does make me orgasm sometimes. How can I get out of this fog I have created?”
Just let him know the vibrator feels wonderful by itself, but the added girth just increased the pleasure, but you are happy either way. Next time you are both feeling frisky, tell him he does not have to try the extension again, but if he decided he wanted to, just wink at him and say something like, “I might just have to do a little oral on you as compensation”. Sounds silly, but he might just think, “oh heck, I’ll do anything for that”.
Just reassure him his size works and that you are always willing to try new things he wants to try. Within reason of course.
As you mentioned the penis extension its too large in circumference to stay on his penis, we also had the same issue. “C” mentioned trying some of the finger sleeves which can be an extension for the smaller penis. Also, he could put on one of the finger sleeves or a couple rubber finger rings, then put the regular extension on. That could pad the extra room and allow it to stay on.
Keep me informed how it goes and thanks for the question.
By happenstance I crossed path’s with a female friend from my high school days, by researching sex self-help on various websites. After I said hello we messaged back and forth and I spoke about this blog to her. She thought my blog was a great idea as she has known a few men who also had small penis’s which would not have been a problem, except they let their small size affect their confidence in the bedroom.
She is a very open minded person sexually and believes whatever works for a couple to have a great sex life and great relationship, is the right thing. She said, “For a man to be able to openly talk about his penis being very small, is the ultimate acceptance of this fact and leads to better communication with his partner.
Most all sex therapists say the key to a great marriage and sex life is communication. “C” and I were married years before really began to communicate. As I stated in another post. Once I was able to finally tell her I realized my penis was too small for her body, she saw that it did not bother me
and we really begin to communicate for the first time in many years. Once she finally admitted that she too realized my penis was too small for her body, we both realized we can talk about anything having to do with sex and/or our relationship.
Basically for me its the old saying, “Why worry about what you can not change”. I really admire “C” for finally being able to admit to me that my penis could not meet her sexual needs which was very difficult for her to say. She did tell me she still loved me and we can just work around it just like any other issues couples face.
This was so wonderful for me. Now I completely accepted the fact that my penis was very small but that I am ok with that. And she completely accepted the fact that my penis was too small to meet her sexual needs, but she was ok with this also. Wow, what a great wife I have!
“C” explained it this way:
“It’s the reassurance for me that even though I can not sexually meet her needs due to my very small size, she stays with me for the emotional bond and our love together.”
Wow, this made me realize, she is giving up a lot for me, which is true love. So I began to think proactively and logically as to what I can do for her.
Why? A long time ago, I made the decision to embrace having a very small penis, and not have any anxiety or be insecure. Actually being open about my size and not embarrassed by it, is a great relief.
We have friends who know I’m small who I will even joke with about my size. Sometimes joking about it with them, helps reinforce that I am not in the least bit bothered by it. Some of them have even read this blog and think its awesome. They have learned that I do not need to hear, “oh its not small”, as I would prefer them to be honest and just admit, its small. I’m honest with myself that it’s small and I’m ok with that. My wife is honest that its small, and I actually appreciate the honesty.
Up until a few days ago, I was convinced I was 100% over all embarrassment. Then I sent a text accidentally to my sister mentioning something about my blog, though nothing about its content. She kept asking me about the blog and for the first time in a long time, I was completely embarrassed and thought no way did I want her knowing. My wife said, “I thought you were not embarrassed by your size and the blog, it seems you still are”. So I finally fessed up and said, “Its quite embarrassing”. She again said to just tell her what it was about, so I decided to just come clean and said it was a small penis support blog and provided her the link, while turning 10 shades of red.
As it turns out, she called me and immediately said, “You’re wrong, you’re not small!” I thanked her for trying to spare my feelings, but I told her my exact size and said I don’t have a complex or any hangup about my size. I know I’m very small and I am completely ok with it. I explained that the purpose of this blog was not to so much help those who fear they are too small, but to help those who realize they are small and are ok with it also. It’s also to help the wives with questions they might have if they are not sure how to ask their husband.
I explained to her how many years ago, I decided to not be embarrassed about having a very small penis. I said I did not need to hear “your not small”. Furthermore I explained how there can be things you have to deal with being small, like finding condoms that fit, sex positions that work for both husband and wife, etc, and I hoped to help others, so they did not have to reinvent the wheel with finding information.
My sister was completely supportive of what I was doing with the site and was relieved I’m really ok with being small. She just said, “I love you and I’m glad we are able to talk about this and if we can talk about your small penis, we can pretty much talk about anything which is awesome!” She joked, “When you said you had a very small penis, I was just trying to call to say you weren’t small but you had to go and convince me”. Haha, just telling the truth. She said, “So what that your really small, there are far worse things you could have in life”. Very true.
This conversion started out embarrassing, but turned into one of the best conversations. I learned she was actually glad I could confide in her, no matter what the topic is, and I in turn, was also quite grateful, that we could openly discuss any topic, no matter how embarrassing it might be. A great weight, that still existed, was instantly lifted off my shoulders. This meant quite a lot to me, more than she can know.
It’s not that I am proud to have a very small penis…..I am proud that I can embrace being very small.
Panties: He said he wears them to support his smaller size? We received a question from a wife, concerned, when she found out her husband is wearing panties.
Her first thought, “Is he gay or a crossdresser?”
First off, who cares what kind, color, or brand of underwear your husband wants to wear….its just underwear, silly. Plain and simple. Him wearing panties no more makes him gay or a crossdresser than it does you for wearing his boxers or his button down shirt. It’s just underwear. It’s not like anyone other than you are going to see them.
If you are worried someone might accidentally see the waistband of his panties or anything of the like, don’t be. Most likely no one would think anything of it. If someone ever did mention to you they thought he was wearing panties, and you felt the need to converse with them about it. Just tell them “No, they are actually sexy men’s undies I bought him”. I’m sure the conversation would just end there. Search Amazon.com for “men’s nylon bikini underwear”. You’ll pull up thousands of styles, colors, etc. of men’s bikini underwear that looks very similar to women’s panties.
Underwear has nothing to do with your husbands masculinity. It’s just underwear. Instead of worrying about it, just embrace it. You can have fun and joke with him about it. “Hey honey, don’t get your…..panties in a bunch”, or “You must have your panties wound too tight this morning”. Or you can take the sexy approach, “Oooh, honey, looking sexy in those tonight”, especially if he is in a bad mood. Any sexual comment from our wives seems to turn us from bad mood, to good mood which is just how we men are wired. Again, it’s just underwear.
So to ultimately answer your question. Could he be wearing them to support his smaller size?
Some men prefer boxers, some briefs, some both. Sometimes you might prefer boxers to go “free-balling”, then other days, want a little support, especially while exercising or being active.
Here is a test for the wives. One day, take a small cloth bag and put two golf balls and a mini tube of toothpaste into the bag. Strap or tape the bag to the front your panties and walk around doing your normal activities for the day. You will find many times everything in the bag gets squished or just flat get in the way. Now go walk around the block, do the elliptical or yoga. The bag and its contents will swing and bounce all over the place which can make things uncomfortable. Its no different than you wearing a jog bra while exercising.
So yes, he might want bikini, brief, thong, whatever type of underwear for support. Jock straps absolutely suck. They tend to smash everything into your body in order to support your package. Very uncomfortable! Tighty-whitey” briefs suck, as they stretch out too much in the first hour of wearing them.
So now we come to men’s bikini or brief underwear designed with a pouch in the front. Most are designed very similar to women’s panties, made of nylon/spandex or microfiber, they just have a pouch in the front for our package. So basically panties with a pouch in front.
For less-endowed men, that pouch can be too large, losing the support. So now, there are many women’s panties that are very soft, light and stretchy. They are designed to be flat in the front, but can stretch to accommodate a mans smaller package, and be quite form fitting, thus providing great support.
So yes, the panties can be strictly for comfort and support. He might wear them for a variety of reasons, wear a variety of styles or colors of them, but it boils down to
“Its just underwear, who cares”.
PS. The panties I wore to demonstrate are “C’s” Hanes Her Way microfiber panties. High-cut brief. They are a very thin, light, stretchy material. You can tell from the photos, they conform very well to my tiny package, but also stretch very well when needed. And if your are small, you still stay in the panties while they stretch which is nice.
Can Penis Pumps really enlarge your penis? Not really as far as long term, but they can help temporarily by bringing more blood flow to the penis.
Also, for those of us men who are over 40, we sometimes need the help for full erections. Viagra is wonderful for helping with this, but sometimes a pump can provide a little added help with the blood flow. I have personally found, if I use my pump for about 5 or 10 minutes a day or even every other day, it just helps to get a faster and stronger erection when it is needed.
So now if your penis is extra small as mine is, the reality is most pumps are actually too large and won’t get a good seal around your skin and/or start pulling your balls into the pump. Yes, Ouch!
“C” has probably purchased 7 or 8 Penis Pumps from various adult toy stores and brought them home, only to find out they are too large in circumference. The length does not matter so much, although she finally found one that was only about 6 inches in length, and had changeable rubber seals on the end. Luckily, she just told the saleswoman that my penis was small, about the size and girth of her finger, and she was having difficulty finding a pump to fit my size.
For me personally, the smallest seal is still a bit too large for me. “C” suggested I put a rubber cock ring on first, to help with the seal. Perfect! This works great! Now you may think, where do I find a cock ring that will actually stay on my smaller size. There are rubber finger rings designed to stimulate women. We use those for cock rings.
For many of us lesser endowed men, condoms can be a real headache.
When we first were married, condoms were all standard size. We kept having the issue with the condom coming off inside her. What a pain! We resorted to using rubber bands to help keep the condoms on. This worked ok, though sometimes the rubber band could chafe “C”.
A few years later, they came out with Snugger Fit condoms. Finally condoms for the smaller penis. Unfortunately these were still too large for me, and they still came off during sex. Luckily we decided to not use condoms when we were trying to have kids.
A couple years ago I saw a company in the UK, that started making condoms for various sizes, including smaller ones. I decided to order one to see how they fit, more out of curiosity. The smallest size was 47mm , smaller than the Snugger Fit condoms, but still would slip off of me. Also, they are not sold in the US, but were available via eBay. I decided to search for smaller and finally found that in various areas of Europe and Asia, there were smaller condoms available. I purchased the Personage Ultra-small brand located in bottom photo. They are 45mm and I can say I finally found one that would stay on. After all these years its sad that the smaller condoms are still not available in the US.
Ok, so my wife said I needed to add a couple photos to the blog to show my size in order to show I can relate to all the topics and questions. It is not for exhibitionist purposes as this blog is for educational purposes.
My erect size is 3.8 inches.
Here is one with the toilet paper roll test, and the other with a mini liquor bottle.
For my wife and I, our goal is to help others with any advice we can. We hope you can achieve a better sex life through communication and/or using alternative methods. Some may wonder how to talk to their partners about their size without hurting anyone’s ego. Issues can arise like condoms slipping off, or how not to hurt anyone’s feelings when you want to purchase that large vibrator or dildo.
Single men are also more than welcome to ask for advice.
We are not licensed counselors or any of the such, we are just a couple who has been married over 20 years and have worked around my small penis in order to have a wild and crazy sex life.
So as it says in my profile information, I’m a 40-something married white Male with a penis less than 4 inches erect. 3.8 inches to be exact. As far as girth, I’m also very thin. If doing the toilet paper roll test, there is plenty of room to spare with my penis inside it, and no, it does not come out the other end. Actually a toilet paper roll is 4.25 inches long.
I know this sounds crazy, but yes it’s true.
So why would a guy admit this to everyone? Well, luckily I have always had a lot of self-confidence and instead of letting it become a complex, I embraced it. Maybe because I am an Engineer, I tend to research everything and look for a solution.
My wife and I always had a good sex life though she never had a vaginal orgasm. That is until she came across a large vibrator. That changed everything. She tried to make it seem as though it was no big deal so as to not hurt my feelings. It did not. I was just as excited that she could finally orgasm!
Instead of having a complex, I just admitted to her that I knew my penis was small. Of course, she said the typical “no it’s just right” speech. I just said, that it was ok, it didn’t bother me at all. Then she admitted that possibly her body just required larger, thus the large vibrator.
Now our world changed! Our sex life improved for the better and it actually was a major relief for me when she admitted I was too small for her. I had always stressed a lot about not being able to provide her the pleasure that I wanted to. I always had performance anxiety. That all ended that day.
Does that mean we do not have intercourse? Of course not. We now just have many creative avenues with our sex life. And I no longer have to stress out about trying to make her orgasm vaginally as we know it is not going to happen, but if does, great! So instead I became an expert in using toys, oral, and fingers to bring her to multiple orgasms.
Basically, sex should not be stressful, but relaxing and pleasurable. We both enjoy it now, by being creative and through alternative means.